November 26, 2008

Help, I need advice!

Andrea who is 18, freshman in college and is very smart wants to move home and go to our local University. I'm so disappointed for wanting to leave the university the she has wanted to go to since she was 5. Her career choices have changed many times but not where she wanted to go. OK, OK I am grateful that she still wants to go to school but......there's a boyfriend involved, they like each other a lot. I think he's ok but there's something about this I don't like. She wants to move home and I don't want her to. I Love Andrea with all that I am but I think she needs to continue to be on her own. I have reminded her of the rules for which she thinks have been drawn up simply for her. These rules are common courtesies for all who live here. To live as a family joyfully and to show our love for each other. To learn to live outside our home and be a complement to society and to love our country. To give when the need arises and to do so happily. Needless to say I am not popular right now and I may not win this battle today but....
So all my blogging friends what do you suggest. Time is running out and I feeling just like I did when she left for college.........ugh!

8 comments:

Gina said...

My daughter also wanted to move home after her first semester away. Because we had heard that this is a very common occurrence, we said she had to finish out the year and if in June she still wanted to come home we would discuss it at that time. She too changed her major several times, again a very common occurrence with freshmen and even sophomore students. Come the end of the freshman year she decided that she loved the college and settled on a major. She now is married to a fellow classmate and has a very successful career as a publisher. (She started out in pre med);-)

The best advice I can give is to be loving, supportive and firm. Listen to her and encourage her, but remind her of your life rules. You are doing a good job!!

Shelly said...

I say I would have to agree with what Gina has written. Support, encourage, love. It is so hard to decide on what you want to do with the rest of your life at the age of 18-20. Shoot, last year I was attempting to go to college to try a new career. You just never know where life leads you.

Enjoy your day. Happy Thanksgiving.

Hi! I'm Grace said...

Oh, relax, Mom. Based on my experiences, it is not good to keep me pushing away. You can still help her grow in all aspects of her life even when she is in right in your home. And of course you know, that when it comes to relationship, the more you are against it, the more they will get closer. :)

Edge of Design said...

I don't have a college age student but I wonder if this might be of some help. If, as parents, we don't encourage them to stay committed, how can we expect them to stay committed when it comes to more important things like staying married. I think sometimes our husbands don't like us and we don't like them but that doesn't mean we change husbands and/or wives does it? It ought not to but if they learn it in college, would they not think it okay in a marriage?

Lisa said...

Kae
I havent been through this phase of life yet but I would advise you to stick firm to your house rules and love and suppor your daughter as long as you have her around.It is hard sometimes to settle on a certain major.I hope everything goes well.
Hugs. Lisa

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